The Road Not Taken

Many may not know, but I LOVE to read and write. I'm not perfect, shocker, and I have a hard time expressing my feelings. When I try to talk about conflicting issues, my words get jumbled into a downward spiraling train wreck. {{I have a HUGE fear of public speaking}} In college, I was told by my English professor, "When words aren't enough, write. When you're broken and have nobody to talk to, write. When you feel you're going to explode with emotion, write. Keep the book you write in and occasionally glance through it."



I took his advice and I write. I have a book, my secret book, I write things in when I need to. [[My husband doesn't even know this exist - until now]] It has things such as: prayers, words, recipes, names, Bible verses, quotes, book titles, poems and feelings.

Lately, I have found myself stuck in a rut. A dirty, muddy and just plain nasty rut. You know what I'm talking about. I've been rough, hard and short tempered. I figured it was time to write. When I opened my book, I came across my favorite poem 'The Road not Taken' by Robert Frost. I read over the faded and smuggled words. I found this traced over many times "two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference".



Recently I have been faced, directly and indirectly, with adversity and things greater than I. I have often questioned the circumstances. I have found myself questioning God and why He does things to good people. I am wrong for this because He has a greater purpose.

So, I am learning everyday to chose the road less traveled. I am learning it's not my place to question a Holy and sovereign God. I am learning some storms of life we are given aren't meant for our understanding. I'm also learning how we handle those storms can effect someones eternity.



Which brings me to this, when faced with the difficulty which road will you take? I hope I am strong enough, not only spiritually but morally and ethically, to choose the 'one less traveled'.

God will fight

<backstory>

As many of you know, Jonathon and I have found home. We started searching for a church about two years ago. We visited a few and met some WONDERFUL people along the way. His aunt, Judi Smith, had been asking us to visit with her (Fort Mill Church of God) for a while. From the moment we walked in, it was home. 

<Fast forward 8 months...>

Last Sunday, we attended our normal class, The Path, and I never expected to be so touched by one statement. The statement was "He [God] will fight for us when we no longer can." WOW, this hit me like a ton of bricks. We talked about being disciples and how to do so, you must surrender ALL to Him. I fought back tears the whole class because I KNEW I couldn't do it on my own. (you moms know what I'm talking about - super mom). 

As we entered the church service I could feel a sweet spirit across the gathering of His people. I felt Him telling me Sam, give it up. I kept telling him NO. That still small voice kept telling me over and over, "I have this under control, just surrender it to me." Like any stubborn women, I told him no again. Bishop Kemp was nearing the end of service and he completely changed directions. Guess what to...you got it - surrendering all to Him. It was then, I realized I can't do it alone and it was time to let go and let God. I felt a weight of 1,000 bricks lift off of my shoulders. I felt a new and refreshing outlook on life and love come over me. 

 These past few months have been the biggest challenge I have faced in my Christian walk. I am here to say I promise you can make it. Don't give up just yet because when we can't go another mile He [God] is there to take over.

That thought overwhelms me. He is still standing there with loving arms open wide for when we decide "to come home". We reject Him daily, yet He still sent His Son to die for us. We turn our backs on him and think we know best. Yet, He still loves us enough to plea for us when we don't know what way to turn.

We serve an awesome, merciful, just and wonderful God.

Refreshing. Upcoming 40 days

As some know, we have been attending Fort Mill Church of God and we LOVE it. This Sunday we start a membership class and I couldn't be more excited. I feel so at home here. Last Sunday our Pastor talked about the 40 days of fasting and prayer. This will begin late January and continue for 40 days. I am excited to see what will happen when His people humble themselves and pray and seek his face.

"If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land."

-2 Chronicles 7:14-

 

 

With this being said, our land needs healing. My vow for the next 40 days is to pray for just that. It overwhelms me to think my children will have to live in this world. {{it's a scary thought}}

 

HOW WILL PEOPLE HEAR IF WE DON'T TELL THEM? It's sad to think there are people in this country who have NEVER heard the salvation story. {{I was fortunate enough to grow up in a family where Christian values were exhibited. At the time, I just wanted to stay at home and didn't understand the importance of Church. Now I'm a mother, I do!}} 

 

 

My challenge to you is to do this 40 days of prayer (and fasting, if you desire) with me. Please comment if you want to join in! It's always nice to know you have a support group!

 

 

Open the blind eyes
Unlock the deaf ears
Come to your people
As we draw near
Hear us from heaven
Touch our generation
We are your people
Crying out in desperation

MY.HEART.BROKE

If any of you have been with me in public, I try to avoid as many people as possible. I am out to do a certain thing and get it over with. Today I was faced with the harsh reality of life..

 

I went to Kohls for some ME time. While minding my own business, these ladies kept ending up near me NO MATTER WHERE I WENT. I figured, if they were talking loudly, they didn't mind me listening. They were talking how they couldn't believe their church had a Christmas Eve service. {{I kind of rolled my eyes..((in my pity party again)) because I wish that was all I had to worry about}} I walked over to the bedding and continued to look around. What do you know, THERE THEY WERE AGAIN! They were talking about how a girl who (and I quote) "came to church looking like she was out partying all night. I can't believe she would come to church showing that much skin." **Side note I grew up in a conservative church and I'm thankful for it. No telling what I would be like if I didn't have that structure growing up** I naturally giggled because I've been those women before. I've been THAT judgmental person. I continued to the shoes, and guess who's there? You got it. I overhear them saying how that nobody spoke to her and she sat alone at the back of the church. MY.HEART.BROKE! How can we as "Christians" be this judgmental? Who are we to cast the first stone? How can we treat strangers in the drive-thru windows better than someone at church?

 

 

I am sitting at work just in shock. I can't help but think of the Casting Crowns song "Does Anybody Hear Her".  {{She is running a hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction..She is trying...but the canyon's ever widening..in the depths of her cold heart..So she sets out on another misadventure just to find..she's another two years older and she's three more steps behind}} 

 

 

 

 

With this being said, do we see? Do we hear? It hit me like a ton of bricks. How many people have I passed by because of my judgmental glances? How many lives have I had to chance to "save" yet I chose to keep walking by because of how they looked? [[to clarify I was not raised this way..if you know my mom, you know she has more friends than anyone I know]]

 

Those people we just walk by BELONG to someone. They could be a dad, brother, son, mother, sister, daughter, etc. All they need is for someone to care, for someone to hear. I challenged myself to stop caring about society and how they view people, but to care for people like they were my mom or dad.

 

Happy Friday.

 

 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” John 8:7



Reality Check

Ever had those days you want to scream? You think you are the only one with problems? Then someone hits you with the reality that life isn't all about you. It's about what you do with the cards you're dealt.

REALITY CHECK! (ouch. I liked my pity party)

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I am a mom of two and, lets face it, life can be HECTIC.

{{..back story..}}

 

Caroline, our youngest, has been a puzzle since day one. We had a great stay in the hospital but when we got home, it was like someone gave me the wrong child. She screamed 20 hours out of the day, I wish I were exaggerating, and she wasn't gaining weight. At week two, she started to refuse eating. So, back to the doctor we went. After many appointments, we figured out she was MSPI (which is children who have a Milk Soy Protein Intolerance). I was breastfeeding and given a STRICT diet to follow. Long story short, I stopped breastfeeding and she was put on RX formula, Nutramigen. Everything was great for a few days and out of nowhere she starts forcefully spitting up. BACK to the doctor we go. We were referred to a Gastroenterologist, Levine Children's Specialties, who determined she had severe reflux and she was prescribed Prevacid. After days of fighting with the insurance, we were finally able to get this liquid gold. {{At this point, she was 7-8 weeks old}}. Fast-forward 2 months and many sleepless nights..

 

 

{{..present day..}}

 

Caroline is almost 4 months old, yet still a newborn in so many ways. Last night she was up every hour wanting to eat. I have been told by our Pediatrician this is peak reflux time (4-6 months), JOY! It's so hard to be a full time mom and working 40 hours a week.

 

**With this being said**

 

 

 I have to remember that I am chosen to be the mother to my daughters and [THAT] is the best job I could ever ask for. On days like today, I have to take deep breaths and "keep on keeping on". I am often reminded to soak up the good, bad, ugly and messy because there will be a time when I wish for these days back. I will embrace everyday I'm given to be called mom with loving arms and many kisses.

..this was me this morning..

 

:) Happy Tuesday

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks for reading.

Love,

 

Super tired, mom :)

 



My Children

These are my two wonderful, beautiful and loving daughters.

We were blessed with Taylor, our oldest, February 2013. She was all we needed. Since day one, she has been a bundle of joy and a pistol. She is soon approaching her 2nd birthday and you can tell. She is full of sassy talk, attitude and a strut.

We thought our life was complete, but boy were we wrong. We were shocked to find out that we were expecting again. December 2013 we announced to our families we were pregnant, AGAIN (yes, we know that's quick). Hesitant with guilt and every hormonal emotion a mom could feel, I put a smile on my face and acted happy. It wasn't until I found out we were having ANOTHER girl, that I truly was excited.

We welcomed Caroline into the world August 2014.

 Our lives were, NOW, finally complete.

A little about me..

Where to begin?

My name is Samantha Whiteside. I am a mother to two BEAUTIFUL girls and wife to a LEO (Law Enforcement Officer). I have the best parents a girl could ever ask for. I am a LOVER of coffee, Target, Goodwill, California, USC (Gamecocks), volleyball and SHOPPING. I love this crazy, hectic thing called life. There are some days I just want to put my head in the sand and wait for the storm to pass. Then I remember, life only happens once and I need to make the most of it.

I am going to apologize in advance for any grammatical errors you may see. I love to write from the heart. Lets face it, my heart isn't always grammatically correct.

The purpose of this blog is to share things, with my friends and family, from recipes to life's challenges.  

With that being said, here goes nothing.

(P.S. - If nobody reads my blog, I am 100% ok with that. This is a way of relaxing and clearing my mind. I know I will enjoy this and I really hope you do too!)